Just $3.75

A few days ago I received in the mail from Dominion power a little piece of insurance. Well, that's how they put it. First, they make it clearly known that the gas line that run to my house is my responsibility and for a measly $3.75 I won't have to pay for any repairs on my gas line. Okay, that sounds fair enough. However, I don't take anything at face value. So, I did a little thinking to see this past this illusion. I really want to call Dominion and talk to one of the service representatives, but I'm confident they'll either hang up on me or won't be able to answer my question. I mean for $3.75 they should be able to answer 3 questions for me. Number one, how many people are serviced by Dominion. That should be an easy question to answer. Number two, what percent of people actually sign up for this safety offer. Finally, the most difficult question, what percent of gas lines fail on a yearly basis. I think with this information you can figure out the profit that Dominion gets people to pay. This illusion is just like the extended warranties that are offered on anything you buy. Most of those extended warranties are dollars to the bottom line to the company that sells them. There are of course some items that are worth the extended warranty.

This brings up the time when I had a land line, the company service rep called asking me to sign up for a special international service plan. I was cordial and listened to the offer. Just a simple $3.95 monthly fee and then I would be entitled to a discount rate on my foreign calls. It sounds good until you compare it to a $20 phone card with no maintenance fee, a 15% tax per call, 1 minute rounding, and 6.5 cent rate to a cell phone. Well, I did exactly this. I asked the service representative I would sign up for her "offer" if she could do one thing for me. I merely asked her to calculate my break even point in the number of minutes I would have to use a month in her offer compared to my phone card. Unfortunately, she couldn't and then I told her to call me back once she figured it out. I'm afraid I haven't heard back from her.

Yes, I am a nightmare to service representatives. I ask them for opinions while I cooking. I take the phone into the bathroom while I take a number two and read a magazine. I've cleaned my apartment. I've done a bunch of things while they call me. Usually in the end they want to hang up. Oh, my favorite is when they're done with their pitch is to ask them I didn't hear that very well could you explain it again. Believe or not they will.

Oh, if you're wondering. I didn't sign up for a Dominion gas line protection plan.